Wandering Preventon at Home

My Son (pictured)

Avonte Oquendo's death was a horrible tragedy! I'm still reeling from the utter mishandling of his disappearance, something I previously wrote about. Today I'd like to provide some tips about what you can do at home to secure your child with Elopement Tendencies.

1. Have really good keyed on both sides Deadbolt Locks installed on your entry and exit doors. A keyed on both sides deadbolt will not only secure your home, but your child too.
2. Purchase door and window sensors for anything that can be perceived as an exit. An alarm will sound each time door is opened or closed. In advance it will take some getting use to but it's a minor annoyance, but well worth it.
3. Get your children enrolled in swimming lessons. Did you know that many instances of wandering have ended in drownings.
4. Download and begin using your Big Red Safety Toolkit today. http://nationalautismassociation.org/resources/awaare-wandering/

My son on has gotten away from us a couple of times and it was the scarriest 5 minutes of my life. We've implemented all the things that I mentioned and I hope our measures keep him safe.

Autism and Wandering

As a community we are heartbroken over the death of Avonte Oquendo. We would like to take the time to share The National Autism Associations Safety Website, in hopes it will help prevent another tragedy from happening.
http://www.autismsafety.org/wandering.php

Dear Avonte

Dear Avonte,

I'm so sorry that the system failed you! I'm sorry that sometimes requiring people to commit to protecting children like you, is a task that many are failing miserably at. I'm sorry that Vanessa Fontaine & Danny Oquendo SR your parents will never be able to hold you close and shower you with affection.

There is no teachable moment when it comes to your death, because protocols and systems were in place to prevent you from wandering. You young man were never supposed to make it off your school grounds. You were a sweet young man that was loved by so many, including myself. As I pledge my Love to you I promise you, that I will fight to prevent this from ever happening again! Those who allowed you to slip away will be held accountable!..I promise you....I promise you!

Rest In Peace Avonte

The Demonization of Autism

In December 2012 I looked on in horror as the news reported the Sandy Hook tragedy. Tears streamed down my face as the reports of the tiny little lives lost and their selfless educators. Adam Lanza a young man on the Autism Spectrum was the killer, and suddenly Autism Made him do it. I made a Facebook comment about the babies being killed and someone commented that "He killed his mom too", and my knee jerk reaction was...Yeah but there's a story behind that.  I made so many people mad, and guess what...The story was she had an arsenal of damn guns at the house with an emotionally fragile boy. On top of that she taught him how to shoot the guns. Who does that?

Now in advance I know I sound terribly insensitive, but as a parent I'm ultimately responsible for my child's behavior. As a mom I socially bare the blame...Why? Because nobody ever says "Where's your Dad?" It's always "Where's your Mom". What should be said is "Where's your Parents". Very rarely do I find fault with the victim, but keeping a house full of guns just goes beyond my realm of comprehension. So, for me blaming Autism, just doesn't work! Before you question my logic here, no I don't blame every parent for every action their child makes. Sometimes no matter what our efforts are, the outcomes are less than great.

Fast Forward to January 2014  I read that Peter Lanza The father of Adam is turning over his son's treatment records. My feeling are very mixed about this because on the one hand looking into Adam's world may provide some answers to what he did. On the other hand I wonder is this an attempt to blame his actions on Autism Spectrum Disorder? Quite frankly the latter doesn't sit well with me. Ultimately no matter what those records say in my mind there was no reason for that many firearms to be in that house. Guns killed the victims of Sandy Hook not Autism.

http://www.courant.com/news/connecticut/hc-sandy-hook-autism-0118-20140118,0,5438287.story

I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

Sunday

I'm not a religious person, but I have a very strong belief in God. I long wondered why my son had autism? What caused it? What did I do? Why did I do that and etc. Eventually I had to realize that my son has autism because, he just does! It's quite possible that it's the way it's suppose to be.

If my son wasn't on the spectrum, I most certainly wouldn't be an advocate. While I've always had a very soft spot for people with special needs. I doubt if I ever would have started a non-profit. Maybe this is God's way of reminding me, that I need to be a Good Fellow?

Now am I saying I'm fully in acceptance of my son's disorder? No, but I spend a lot less time feeling guilty and more time loving my son!

Remember The Golden Rule

Remember The Golden Rule
First, Care for Yourself

 

On an airplane, an oxygen mask descends in front of you. What do you do? As we all know, the first rule is to put on your own oxygen mask before you assist anyone else. Only when we first help ourselves can we effectively help others. Caring for yourself is one of the most important—and one of the most often forgotten—things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the person you care for will benefit, too.

Not too long ago I was absorbed in all things Autism, to the point that I'd forsaken my own health. I had extremely high blood pressure and had a series of small strokes, developed GERD, clinically depressed and ballooned to 308 pds. Question? Who do you think I was able to help? Anybody? Bueller? Last January I rang in the New Year in a hospital bed. As I welcomed in 2013, I decided to adopt a new way of life, because in the condition I was in....I couldn't help myself let alone my autistic son.

2013 became the year of Camille! I adopted a healthier lifestyle, which included some of the advice I've been passing out to others for years. I began what I call the "Camille Purge". Because I knew that my health and wellness is closely related to my son's. How is a fat out of shape woman who looks like a Weeble Wooble, going to chase a 7 year old who likes to take unannounced leisurely walks, wanders, and has bolting tendencies?

So I've said all of this to ultimate say as parents we can't take care of our children if we aren't taking care of ourselves. It's not selfish of you to live well and be well! And lets be honest...Do you really think anyone else can take better care of your child than you? So, if you're out for the count whadayyah think is gonna happen...lol!

Be Well!

P.S
I shed 110 pds, still more to lose.

Discipline

Discipline and Autism

 

 

Too often parents make the mistake of not disciplining. For instance my son is typical in many ways and delayed in others. In the mischief department I'd say he's right up their with his typical peers. I like to say that my son is selectively autistic...LOL! So, when he commits typical offenses, he gets typical disciplines like; time out, no ipad, kurio, and etc.

 

In my opinion it's very important to treat your special needs child as you would your typical child.  I recently encountered a mom who allowed her 5 year old on the spectrum terrorize his siblings. I'm talking hitting, biting, and any of brat behavior...Yes I said BRAT! The siblings were miserable and the 5 year old was happy as a clam. The mom claimed that the child didn't understand and that everyone needed to conform to his world. Grrrr? So, you just let him have his way? She said yes, because autism causes him to not understand. I asked if she let her other kids get away with this sort of behavior and she said no. I said so can you tell me again why he gets to act like this? She said he gets upset when he can't have his way. Then I said SO DOES EVERY OTHER KID!

 

Autism is many things but it doesn't eliminate the ability to know right from wrong. As parents surfing the spectrum it's important for us to instill right and wrong. You want your child to be considerate of others, so that they can be considerate of them. There is so much baggage associated with autism, so don't throw another suitcase on the pile by allowing mayhem all under the guise of "He doesn't understand". The reality is "He Understands More Than You Know". When this sort of behavior is taken into the "typical world" the outcome can be not so great. In the outside world most people don't delve any further than what they see on the exterior. And when they see a kid doing something inappropriate...Most only see a kid doing something inappropriate and not a child with Autism.

 

Blog launch

I decided in 2014, I would blog. I've taken a wack at this before and I didn't really stick with it. Maybe it's because my brain was so consumed with various things that blogging just seemed like one more thing to add to my list.

I must warn you all my typing sucks, my grammer is bad, my sarcasm is ever present, and I often say what other people are thinking. if you can look past all of that I'd like to invite you to follow me.

This blog will chronicle my ups, downs and observations as a parent of a child on the Autism Spectrum.